Monday

Today was a pretty good day, in regards to being healthier. I also was able to go to Trader Joes today to get healthier food.

Tomorrow I will be eating this healthy cereal for breakfast, a yogurt parfait for a snack (I already made it, strawberry yogurt, granola, strawberries and bananas). I also will be having a turkey wrap and some trail mix. I am not sure if this is too fattening or too protein rich. Either way, I am going to experiment with it.

I am still hungry after I am done eating. Almost more hungrier than when I began. So I am trying to do this more protein thing to see if it ebbs off hunger.

I have been using a lot of self control lately and not eating when I am hungry. Not that I am starving myself, because I am not, I am just not eating after I already ate what was set in front of me (which was a healthy amount).

Also today, I found out that next week I do not get the vacation I was expecting. I am pretty dissapointed, but I need the money. I just wish they would have told me about it earlier, because if I think about it long enough I will get really pissed about it. I am still taking off Friday so I can go to see my brother. it was already planned, etc. they are letting me, I am just going to make it up by working more hours the other days. I guess i get the 4th off, but blah.

Alright, I am trying tbe more positive today. I worked out for about 45 mins. I did the stair climber for 20 minutes at level 10 (ouch) and then did the circuit training thing. I feel much better now. I am always more energized after I do it.

I am going to go finish watching a movie with Mike now.

Sunday

From when I started back on this kick, I have lost 2.5 lbs. I am not sure it is just because I weighed myself at a great moment or what. I am going to try to not weigh myself for a few days and see if it stayed. I am also going to continue to work out, and eat healthier.

This weekend I didnt eat the best, but I made concious decisions to not eat as bad as I could have. It is really hard to eat healthy when your boyfriend is skinny and never has to worry about gaining weight. and if he does he just has to work out for 2 days and its off. lame. Why do boys get to lose weight so much faster.

I need to go to the grocery store and buy some food for next week. I am starving right now though, and will not be eating dinner for more than an hour or two. I also don't want to eat a snack just to tide me over so I can go grocery shopping. I might just down some water pretty soon.

I have been drinking a ton of water recently. Some guy at my work told me that if I drink more it will keep me more awake than an energy drink. Because I want to stop drinking those anyway I tried it. I am not sure if it is just keeping me awake because it makes me pee every 20 minutes, or because it really keeps me awake. But it does the job. So I am going to continue doing it. Its good for you, and of course less calories.

I have also been eating more protein in my diet to help curb some hunger. I eat a lot of carbs generally, so eating more protein definitely helps.

Speaking of protein I can probably figure out some good protein ideas if I go to Trader Joes. Yum! Too bad it is usually soooooooooooooo crowded. Maybe if I go at 6 most people will be at home eating their dinner. haha.

I am thinking of getting stuff to make turkey wraps for next week, and then I will prob also be eating some of my fake chicken nuggets. That is soy protein which is awesome for you.

Did I mention I worked out 3 times last week? I think that is good for one being on TOM, and two, my first week starting. I think the plan I have with the working out right before traffic really helps. It breaks up the traffic and when I am done I am re-engergized. What I noticed when I didn't go was that I wanted to just go home put on some sweats and zone out to the TV.

Alright, I am going to go take a shower, iron some clothes, go to trader joes and then dinner somewhere in that plans. It might get mixed up but those are all my goals for the rest of the evening. I better get started now!

Reality

So I got some pictures back from a party I went to on Saturday. I thought I looked good that evening. Apparently I looked large, according to every single one of the pictures. I can't believe I got soooo wide. ahhh.

Although I did not see those pictures until later today, I did end up eating healthier today AND worked out.

What I ate today:
honey bunches of oats
coffee
100 cal cheez its
fruit bowl
pasta from olive garden (left overs) capallini pomodora
iced tea (instead of sn energy drink)
cottage cheese
home made grilled cheese
tiny piece of my left iver bday cake (bad i know)

I worked on the treadclimber for 35 mins and burned 350 calories
I did a fewe leg work outs on the machine and some ab work outs. i would have done more but it got really crowded and the social anxiety kicked in. plus the sweat dripping from my body was pretty gross. haha.

when I got home I felt a lot more motivated to do things that I needed to do for awhile. get some bank stuff done, read up on tax info, etc. Made my lunch/snacks for tomorrow (salad with hard boilded eggs, string cheese, grapes, 100 cal south beach diet chocolate chip oatmeal cookies, south beach diet protien bar). after writing that all out I feel like it is a LOT. But today I was starving ALL day. I started to chug water so I wouldnt be so hungry. Its not like I didnt eat enough. I ate a decent amount. I think its because TOM is coming. Awesome.

By the way, I have a gyno appt this week, but no insurance. I have to cancel tomorrow. If I dont go I dont get birth control next month. I guess I will be taking a trip to Planned Parenthood. I have applied for Health Insurance but have not recieved approval yet. Awesome.

I dont know what life is like without birth control. Maybe it is why I am so effing hungry all the time. I will be switching to a lower dosage kind next month (because now i have to have generic bc because my insurance will suck) so maybe it will allow me to not be so freaking hungry. I fear that it will make me break out again (which has stopped ever since I got on Ortho Lo).

Anyway, enough ramblings. Tomorrow is a new day. I have to eat right, and get into shape. I need to remind myself about what I looked like in those pictures from Saturday. I am a cow. yuck.

PS: It helps that I sit next to a personal trainer who eats healthy. it makes me feel guilty for even eating 100 cal cheez it packs. haha.